Behavior Change

First, the most important sentence: the harder you push someone to change, the more they will defend “not changing”; letting them state their own reasons for wanting to change is how change actually happens. This conversational method is called “motivational interviewing.” Healthcare professionals use it to talk to patients about quitting smoking, exercising, and controlling blood sugar, but it works just as well for persuading your parents to exercise or your partner to see a doctor. ...

Let’s start with the most important point: telling people to exercise rarely works, not because you haven’t said enough, but because you’re talking to the wrong “stage." Psychology research shows that when someone changes a habit (starting to exercise, quitting smoking, or controlling their diet), they go through five stages, and what works at each stage is completely different. Throwing an exercise routine at someone who hasn’t even considered moving is like pitching a loan to someone who isn’t looking to buy a car. It’s bound to fail. ...